Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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