I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Too much gin, very little bucket
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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