Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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