I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Holy sore nipples Batman
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
