the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
