Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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