Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
