he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
