I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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