You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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