You smell like stripper and shame
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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