i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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