i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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