just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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