Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Please, let me fuck your mom
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
