I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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