Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
