can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
