I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
