I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
