So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
