How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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