Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
