before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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