sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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