are you still at the devil's house?
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
