no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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