maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
