Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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