Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
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