We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
