we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Dignity is for republicans.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
