Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Best friends brother. Beat that.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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