so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
