His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Randomize
