Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
