every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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