My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
