It's like God shit irony all over that family
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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