I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
