haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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