But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
