ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
