i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize
