I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
