there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
whose parrot is this?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
