First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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