he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
