Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
