I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
