whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just want to make out with him forever
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
