My nipple is on Facebook.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
