I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
